Today's Stock Market Report:
Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Tissue paper touched a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.
Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Tissue paper touched a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.
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